


Henrik's routine

by birthdaycake_storytime_fall



Category: Holby City
Genre: Autism, Dissociative Amnesia, Mental Illness, Routine, Sad and Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 09:04:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20690930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birthdaycake_storytime_fall/pseuds/birthdaycake_storytime_fall
Summary: This was inspired by the prompt 'What (Henrik) does to brighten his day' but it quickly turned into something rather darker. Henrik feels happy but actually isn't. This is canon-compliant up until Oskar arrives then Sara keeps him but Henrik starts a relationship with them. Roxanna, John, David, and Raf all died but Henrik doesn't remember because he has dissociative amnesia.





	Henrik's routine

It’s still dark when Henrik wakes, though it usually is in November. The room is cold, but the bed is warm, and Henrik does not want to get up, but he’s never been one for ‘5 more minutes’ so he takes a deep breath and pulls back the covers, tidying them immediately after he’s left the bed.

Henrik never strays from his usually morning routine before work, though he doesn’t find it boring. With only himself in the house he finds comfort in the control that he has over the mornings before he goes into work, which provides nothing but chaos. First, he showers using a milk and honey shower gel and a coconut shampoo – these scents help to brighten Henrik’s morning as they are sweet, but not sickly, and their constant presence reminds him that he is at home, that he is alive. That’s all he needs sometimes.

Once Henrik is washed, dried, and dressed he goes to the kitchen for his usual morning coffee and breakfast. At work Henrik uses a single sweetener in each of his cups of coffee, enjoying the bitter undertones on his taste buds, but at home in the morning he allows himself a spoonful of sugar (well, maybe a spoonful and a half). He reaches into the cupboard to the left, above his head to retrieve his coffee mug. It’s one Roxanna had bought him a few years ago after she’d broken his old favourite – though of course that was an accident. Henrik wonders what she’s up to now but doesn’t think too hard about it. This mug is matt black with a small white line drawing of a stethoscope on it, and the writing on the bottom states that it was made in Boston. Henrik smiles every time he gets the mug out, fond of the memories it brings him and admittedly he is touched by the thought that Roxanna had put into the gift – he liked that about her. Strong coffee and 2 slices of wholemeal, buttered toast with no crusts as always. Then Henrik is ready for work.

-

Henrik waits in the short line at pulses, not needing to glance at his watch to know that he is 20 minutes early as usual and that pulses has only just opened. He is patient as he waits for the staff to finish setting up and serve the customers before him before handing over his reusable coffee cup – in John’s favourite shade of blue – to Lucy the barista which she fills with his usual order. Once the cup is full and Henrik has handed over the money he takes the lift to his office.

Henrik’s PA, Victoria, is not in yet. Henrik tells her she never needs to be early, and certainly never needs to be in before he is, because he knows that she can’t afford to live close to the hospital and needs to be up early to travel in anyway, he doesn’t want to make her day any more difficult than it already has to be. He unlocks the office door to find everything in the perfect order that it always is and places the cup of coffee on his glass coaster and hangs his satchel and coat on the coat stand by the door. So far so good.

Henrik turns on the computer and enters his password – Oskar’s birthday – so that he is ready to start his shift at 7 o’clock on the dot. Although Henrik does not speak to his son anymore – he can’t quite remember why – he always tries to make time for his grandson, even if all he can manage is a skype call once every couple of weeks. Henrik promises himself that the next time he has a period of annual leave he will treat Oskar to a day out of his choosing. For now, he must press on.

-

Today Henrik’s lunch is the leftover risotto from the night before, he’s proud to say that he made it himself even if he did follow a recipe. Henrik must heat the food up before eating it because the cold rice is a sensory nightmare for his tongue, but this only takes 2 minutes in the microwave so it’s hardly even something that he considers to be a task. Although his mother called it ‘Italian non-sense’ and ever cooked rice for young Henrik he finds a comfort in the food. He thinks it’s because it is what Maya made for him on their first date, or maybe it’s because it was because John ate it at least twice a week, never bothering to cook anything that would take too much time or effort. John isn’t in today, Henrik thinks, maybe it’s his day off.

Henrik doesn’t mind eating in his office, even if it means eating alone, because he is rarely bothered during his lunch break and the peacefulness gives him some time to think about whatever he pleases, rather than having to force himself to concentrate on a specific work-related task.

Henrik is satisfied at the thought that this risotto means he is doing well, although it is such a small sign, this means that he can cook for himself and therefore is perfectly fine on his own. Of course, if he thought about it for too long he would realise that cooking one meal and heating the leftovers for lunch the following day is only one part of being considered a functioning adult and that there at times where the concoction of mental health issues coupled with him being on the spectrum prove to be almost too difficult for him to cope with alone. Henrik doesn’t think about it for too long. Instead he chooses to focus on the ways that he is doing well for himself – he can cook and eat 3 meals a day, he can hold down a CEO position that he doesn’t really want to hold, he can socialise with family and friends, and he can follow his own daily routine perfectly without even glancing at a clock. Henrik is happy.

-

When Henrik steps back through his front door that evening, he feels more relaxed and content than he does at work, maybe because he doesn’t have to act a certain way to please certain people - perhaps he shouldn’t have taken the CEO position again. Either way, he is home now and that is all that matters. Henrik takes off his tie and hit suit jacket, replacing them with a cosy knitted jumper, then turns on the TV. Of course, he doesn’t tell anyone at work (or anyone at all for that matter) that he watches The Great British Bake Off, but he enjoys it in secret. David loves it too and Henrik thinks that one day he might invite David over to watch an episode with him, but he assumes David is busy with work or something as he hasn’t been in contact recently. Henrik could send him a text now, but he doesn’t tend to talk to anybody – in person or otherwise – on an evening. No, evenings are reserved for Henrik and Henrik alone.

When contestants make mistakes Henrik chuckles and when they succeed, he smiles, finding that he is just as pleased by their successes as he is when the young foundation doctors at work make their first diagnosis or can assist on an exciting operation. The programme puts a smile on his face for the evening before he follows his evening routine and falls asleep.


End file.
